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This week, in the absence of poetry or a story (I promise I am doing more than it seems), I though I would share this little snippet with you. It is from an e-portfolio that I was supposed to create for A&M’s university honors program. No longer a part of that program, I had completely forgotten about the post until recently, and decided that I would publish it here for you all. I hope that is alright.

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The first time I heard about an e-portfolio, I was a freshmen at Richland Jr. College. I was largely still a high school student, had no understanding of where I wanted to go, and considered the assignment to be nothing more than busy work from a class that didn’t really matter. Inadvertently, I had adopted the perception that everything I did should have an obvious objective; I believed that if I was to be troubled to work on a project or class, I should know and understand just why I had to do that work.

Long, rambling story short, I failed that class, largely because

Oops…

of my lack of attentiveness to the e-portfolio project. Adding salt to the wounded ego, I still had to retake the class, because Richland required it of every student entering their program. Like it or not, I would have to work, and on a project where I might not understand the immediate benefits. I was going to have to take myself out of the drivers seat once again,and I would have to trust that my instructors understood enough to point me in the right direction.
I will not insult your intelligence by tying this into some absurd attempt of perseverance triumphing over all troubles. I won’t even go so far as to say I have fully learned the lesson that I stated above, but I am learning. I’ve realized that right now I have two options. I can sit in some corner, pretending that my limited understanding is all there is, or I can humble myself to the truth that this world is a lot bigger than I give it credit for, and there is plenty more to learn.

Credit to Hannah Alger for this little gem.

Is it perfect? No. Nothing is. Like I said before, this isn’t some corny “you can do it” story. It’s not even complete. I expect that I will have to be taught to learn time and time again. We’re not willing to learn unless we admit that there is something we don’t already know, which implies personal weakness or deficiency.

While I’m in the process of deviating from required content, I thought I might insert a short quote by C. S. Lewis. I will probably quote Lewis a good number of times, as I am continuously humbled and inspired by his work. In his fantasy work, “The Horse and His Boy” Lewis made a very simple, yet very striking remark: “Do not dare not to dare.” I think that while I might never reach the apex of mental ability or writing effectiveness, I should still try my hardest to improve on myself – dare to grow, as it were.
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