After nearly a year of inactivity, I found myself coming back to the familiar and dusty realm of this blog. It was a royal mess (a clear indicator of the disorder that has often plagued me in creative endeavors), and for a moment I was tempted to again flee.
I originally started this blog as a means of public practice and refinement. I refuse to assume on the idea of any of an eventual public success, as the odds are greater that I will somehow fly to the Moon using my bathtub as a space shuttle. Instead, my passion rests on a love of an ideal that is both perceptible, and yet…
There was a problem, then, and it is still here as I type out these words. It corrupts my pens for seeing, and perverts the sounds I am making. In the midst of all my ideals, I find myself to be the greatest hindrance- the thing most in my way.
I didn’t start this blog thinking that I would spew forth a dozen and a half posts of misspelled rants. I didn’t initially plan to cover the walls of this space in work that was only half-cleared of debris. The problem was and is that while I continue to see and aspire for art, I am reminded that in the end I am a flawed instrument.
The purge I enacted with my return hides the evidence, sure. I can once more charge out with the ambition to create something of value, but in six months or less I will be weighed down by stones: each representing one sin I’ve committed in writing this little experiment.
It’s here, I suppose, that the change must begin. It is downright silly to pretend that I write in a way that is truly fantastic, and yet I am unwilling to quit. Instead of these two options, I’m opting for the clichéd third: a flawed but determined effort.
It’s this option that will color my content, though my effort will always center on revision. Posts may not fly out as quickly or regularly, but I will try to make them orderly and interesting (in some fashion or form).
So if you are new to this blog, welcome! If you’re one of my handful of subscribers, hello again and welcome back. If nothing else, the fire always needs kindling, right?